For Immediate Release Contact: Lizz Aviles 212-904-6006 lizz_aviles@mcgraw-hill.com Expand Your Identity & Achieve Your Goals Neil Fiore, PhD Awaken Your Strongest Self [McGraw-Hill, 2006] • Stop trying to achieve goals with only a limited part of your total capabilities–– learn how to connect to the rest of your body and to your Strongest Self • Stop waiting to feel confident, motivated, and all-knowing before taking action • End self-sabotage by integrating all parts of you into a cooperative team–– learn how to conduct effective committee meetings with your inner team members • Use the techniques of athletes to instantly re-focus on your vision & commitment–– learn how to Work and play In The Zone with resources beyond the ego’s ability • Help a friend who has your problem and notice how wise you become––learn how to see problems from a new perspective and to treat yourself with greater compassion • Say, “That’s not like me.” when you repeat a negative pattern; then wait for a truer, nobler, stronger Self to awaken • Accept the support of something larger and wiser than your ego and conscious mind––your Strongest Self and its deeper resources ©2006 Neil Fiore, PhD. Permission granted to copy or distribute this material, in its complete unaltered form, as long as the copyright and this contact information is included: Neil Fiore, PhD. Awaken to Your Strongest Self: Break Free of Stress, Inner Conflict, and Self-Sabotage www.neilfiore.com www.yourstrongestself.com neil@neilfiore.com 510 525 2673 Pub Date: October 2006, McGraw-Hill ISBN: 0071470263 $21.95/Hardcover TIPS FOR AWAKENING YOUR STRONGEST SELF Neil Fiore, PhD "Who you think you are controls most of your behavior. Expand your identity to include all parts of your brain and mind, and you'll be stronger, more effective, and more joyful." -- Neil Fiore, Awaken Your Strongest Self  Write down your immediate, "default" reactions––your most frequent thoughts, feelings, and impulsive reactions––to stress and pressure. Take a few days to identify which reactive habits need to be updated to fit your vision of how you'd like to act, what you want to accomplish, and who you want to be.  Remember how you felt when you helped a friend cope with a stressful or heart-breaking event. You observed their problem from a distance and shifted to the role of a compassionate, wise friend. Do this for yourself and experience the power of expanding your sense of self beyond your problems and old identity.  Recall the feeling of playing in the zone––at levels far beyond what your ego knows how to achieve. Play and work consistently in the zone by connecting your struggling ego with the rest of your brain and body. Only work with all parts of yourself integrated into the grander whole that is your Strongest Self.  Notice how "have to's" and self-criticism lead to stress and anxiety. Replace all self-threats with a message that makes you feel safe with you. Tell yourself: "Regardless of what happens, I will not make myself feel bad. I will not let any event or person determine my worth."  Label your stress levels on a scale of one to ten (where "one" means safety and "ten" is the worse stress ever). Within one to two weeks, your body will quickly calm down when you say, for example, "It's only a three. We won't die. I can live with this. It's safe to stop the stress response."  Recognize that many forms of shame and depression are ancient (mammal brain) survival mechanisms to keep us from fighting in situations where we can't win and to maintain social structure, such as bowing to those in power. Replace them with: "Yes, there's that ancient surrender response again. But now, I choose to maintain my sense of worth and self-esteem. My new human brain can overrule my lower brain's archaic reactions."  Use the symptoms of procrastination, ambivalence, or indecision––the inner conflict between two primitive parts, "You have to" versus "I don't want to"––to evoke your new human brain's unique ability to choose what to do and to take responsibility for the consequences.  Change "I don't know" to "I wonder what will come to me." Watch for the surprise as the creative side of your brain starts working to bring you from "not knowing" to "knowing."  Start every period of work with three to twelve breaths (in three-parts) to transition your mind out of the past and future and into the present. Replace feeling overwhelmed and confused with: "Start here. I (as my Strongest Self) am choosing to face fear and doubt and to act in the present."  Stop your stress response by practicing three-part breathing. Inhale, hold and tighten some muscles (to replicate the stress response), then consciously exhale and float down into the support of the chair, which symbolizes a larger support system. Train your body to let go of tension by communicating, "The higher brain has decided it's safe to exhale and stop the stress hormones."  Communicate to your mind and body (your workers) a clear image of when, where, and on what to work, and you'll significantly improve your productivity. "Pour the foundation at 9 a.m. Wednesday at 322 Garfield Ave." is clearer than "You have to finish construction on this house by next month."  Watch where you place your identity. Replace "I am depressed." with "A part of me feels depressed. I––from the leadership role of my Strongest Self––will decide if this is a loss that needs to be mourned, a mammal brain surrender response, or just the start of the flu." Replace "I'm lazy." with "A part of me is resistant to doing this boring project. It needs my clear statements of choice and when to start it."  Avoid using positive affirmations to pressure some weak part of you to get motivated and overcome its fear. Instead, acknowledge the problem as real for the part of you when it acts as if it's separate from the larger brain and the wisdom of the body [for example, when you use only your consciously controlled muscles to hit a golf ball]. Say, "Yes, it's tough when you struggle alone. Come here and connect with the rest of your body and brain. Let's make this a team effort."  Label your first reactions "old habits" and "outdated defaults" that need to be replaced and updated. Respond to these automatic reactions with "Yes, there's that old thought or habit again. I (from my true, Strongest Self) will decide what works for me now." ©2006 Neil Fiore, PhD. Permission granted to copy or distribute this material, in its complete unaltered form, as long as the copyright and this contact information is included: Neil Fiore, PhD. Awaken to Your Strongest Self: Break Free of Stress, Inner Conflict, and Self-Sabotage www.neilfiore.com www.yourstrongestself.com neil@neilfiore.com 510 525 2673 Awaken to Your Strongest Self: Break Free of Stress, Inner Conflict, and Self-Sabotage Neil Fiore, Ph.D. Pub Date: October 2006 McGraw-Hill ISBN: 0071470263 $21.95/Hardcover www.neilfiore.com neil@neilfiore.com 510 525 2673